Idiot Love
by Sir Alwick
Summary: Raven has finally realized she's in love with Beast Boy. The question is: what's she going to do about it?
1. Prologue

**_A/N:_**_ I'm not exactly sure where I'm heading with this story past the first few chapters but I really feel like posting something new, so...here goes nothing._

**Prologue**

The first time Raven fell in love did not come on the heels of any grand or highly emotional journey. There was no sobbing confession, no life or death situation that made her realize where her true feelings laid. There was no "other woman" with whom to suddenly and inexplicably become jealous over, and she never grabbed anyone and kissed them hard in a fleeting moment of passion. The truth is the act that led her to fall in love wasn't deeply romantic or even that extraordinary. The first time Raven knew for certain that she was in love it was a lazy Saturday afternoon in April. She had been in the common room, nestled in the cushions of the sofa and reading a rather gripping story when suddenly in entered Beast Boy, whistling his usual happy tune. She said not a word and he took no notice of her as he immediately began busying himself in the kitchen, gathering all the ingredients necessary for an FLT (Fake-bacon, lettuce and tomato) sandwich. At eighteen years old the beast was not quite the boy he once was. He wore his hair longer now, though it still stood up straight on the top of his head. He was taller, still the shortest member of the team but only by an inch or so, and his body had matured to the point where his physique even rivaled that of Robin's. During training one day she'd caught sight of him with his shirt off and immediately found herself wondering just where that scrawny boy she once knew had gotten all of those abs

Finishing his work in the kitchen he went to the sofa. With plate in hand he picked up the remote and was ready to turn on the television when he finally saw her. He "ooped" quietly but didn't speak. He smiled somewhat bashfully, put down the remote and instead picked one of several comic books stacked haphazardly on the cushion beside him and began to read.

…and that was it. That was Raven's epiphany moment. As silly and as anti-climactic as it was, in that moment and with that one simple act of polite consideration, Raven knew she no longer felt the same way about her green teammate as she did the day before. As Beast Boy quietly indulged himself in his garishly colored world of mutants and monsters, munging on a triangle of sandwich all the while, Raven suddenly felt more drawn to him than she ever had before. Her book, no longer quite as interesting as it once was, hid her face as out of the corner of her eye she silently studied the boy beside her. It surprised her to realize just how much the nature of their relationship had changed over the years. Beast Boy had always been a good friend if only a bit trying from time to time. He annoyed the crap out of her and never seemed to know when enough was enough, but by that same token had always been present to lend a friendly ear or a kind word during those rare moments when she really needed one. There were times where she wanted to strangle him, and yet somehow her forgiveness trumped her rage every time, and now she finally understood why.

The affection she had for him was more than friendly. It was love. Not the familial kind she had with Robin and Cyborg. No, it was much deeper than that. She knew now she didn't just love him; she was _in_ love with him. She had never been more certain of something in her life. It was then she saw what she had to do. Only one thought went through her mind. If the feelings she had for Beast Boy were in fact love, _true_ love...

...she had to destroy them.


	2. Chapter 1

The Jump University Performing Arts Center: the beautiful post-modern building lay in the heart of the city just down the street from the college and not far from the football stadium. A spacious and rather elegant structure, Raven had found herself a guest several times since moving to the city (Her most recent trip being for an all female version of Macbeth). As she had a particular fondness for its beautiful hard wood flooring and posh, convenient seating (There really wasn't a bad seat in the house) she often visited whenever she needed a night out by herself and the movie theater just wasn't enough.

At the moment the auditorium was filled to capacity. There was a dull murmur in the air as the crowd patiently waited for the show to begin. Suddenly the lights dimmed and all at once a gentle hush filled the room. The curtains rose and a finely dressed young woman was greeted by a gentle round of applause as she took center stage. At nineteen-years-old she looked ravishing, the very picture of grace and beauty. Her long violet hair shined and her magenta sequin gown shimmered in the spotlight.

As the audience applauded, Raven shifted somewhat uncomfortably in her seat. She had never been one for fancy dress and just the sight of the gown caused a swell of embarrassment in her chest. The thought occurred to her of taking a stand, to just bring the performance to a halt before it could even begin. The ground beneath her feet trembled ever so slightly as she leaned forward in her chair. Then the music started. The crowd applauded louder, and reconsidering her actions she instead sat back in her seat and once again attempted to get comfortable.

The song was a quiet, synthesized piano track, supported by a slow and pleasant bass line and backed by an even tempo'ed drum beat. Raven took a moment to recognize the tune then rolled her eyes as she slumped against the back of her chair and brought a palm to her face. She knew this sappy, cheesy, little tune (of course she did). She had heard the song once before during one of those music video countdown shows on TV, more specifically one dedicated to the supposed "Greatest" Love Songs: Past and Present. She now regretted having stayed and watched the whole thing. The applause subsided, and Raven watched as the woman smiled and brought the microphone to her lips.

"I'm gonna take a little time," she began, "A little time to look around me." The slight rasp in her voice served as a soulful compliment to the melody. "I've got nowhere left to hide. It looks like love has finally found me." The audience cheered at the line as she took the microphone from its stand and walked closer to the edge of the stage. "In my life there's been heartache and pain. I don't know if I can face it again. I can't stop now. I've traveled so far to change this lonely life."

It was actually the second verse in the song Not that anyone in the audience noticed the gaffe; they were smitten since the first note. There was a brief drum fill as the music swelled and the audience came alive once more. Making a fist and turning her head to the right, the beautiful singer belted the chorus with gusto. "I want to know what love is," she declared in perfect time. "I want you to show meeeeee. I want to feel what love iiiiiis. I know you can show meeeeee." The audience ate up every word, clapping and cheering as Raven could only sink further and further down in her chair, silently cursing her own impressive memory.

Three and a half minutes later the song came to a close. A choir of voices joined her as she finished the repeating chorus one final time. The moment the last note faded, the audience leapt to its feet. The house lights went up and from wall to wall everyone was standing. To the left and to the right, identically dressed patrons expressed their unbridled love for the performance and more specifically the performer herself. The singer smiled and bowed at the display as a multitude of green skinned men, all with the same green hair and fangs, applauded and whistled and whooped and hollered. Some threw flowers. Others held up signs declaring their adoration and still others simply shouted it as the singer waved and blew kisses from the end of the stage. A pair of pointy eared patrons beside Raven turned to each other, still continuing to clap. "Astounding," they said simultaneously, their voices in stereo. "A pulchritudinous vision of elegance and poise."

With her cheek in her palm Raven breathed an annoyed sigh. "Alright," she half whispered to herself. "That's enough." She stood and instantly the overwhelming sound of cheers and applause began to fade. Like the volume being turned down on a television set, the crowd's voices gradually diminished, becoming further and further away before finally vanishing after becoming little more than an echo. With but a tiny gesture from Raven the hard wood flooring forgot its own intrinsic properties and began to stretch like taffy, carrying dozen's of seats and theater-goers in either direction. In a mere instant a direct path to the stage was opened. With a calm and even gait Raven made her way down the newly formed aisle. With each step she took the auditorium continued to mutate. The silent patrons, who up until that point continued their raucous celebration despite the absence of sound, began to freeze in place one after another. Each row lost its livelihood as Raven passed. The color drained from their very bodies. Bright green skin dulled, becoming varying shades of gray, and in a matter of seconds the cheering audience was reduced to a sea of inanimate statues. Stopping just short of the stage, Raven's gaze fell to the singer. She folded her arms.

"It's time we had a talk."

The singer was the only one in the auditorium besides Raven to maintain her agency, though she gave almost no heed to the sudden change in her environment, choosing instead to lose herself in the delicate features of one of several long stem roses that had made its way to the stage during the applause. Much in the same way the auditorium had bent to Raven's will so too did the singer's appearance. Her beautiful sequin dress appeared to take on a life of its own. It's intricately stitched contours began to stretch and move away from her body, becoming flat and loose. A black leotard emerged from beneath the newly formed cloak as the material moved up to cover her shoulders, and a long beak-like hood settling atop her head complete the look. After taking a brief sniff of the flower, the singer let out a contented sigh.

"He looked at me again today," she said

Raven rolled her eyes. "We live in the same building," she replied bluntly. "It'd be hard to go a day where he didn't."

The woman on the stage did not seem to hear. Still studying the rose she answered, "I love it when he looks. It's like when he looks at me he sees me. He really sees me."

Raven pinched the bridge of her nose. Talking with these things was always a bit of a challenge. Raven may have had total control over the realm but the beings themselves, they were something else. As much as she would have liked to she couldn't simply bend them to her will. "That's generally how sight works," she answered with an annoyed sigh. "Now come on. I thought a few days of meditation would be enough to sort all this out but apparently you want to make things difficult. Sooooo….let's just get this over with."

The woman took another small sniff of the rose. "Let's go home," she said.

There was a small rumble, and one by one cracks began appearing in the walls and ceiling of the auditorium. Like miniature lightning strikes, the fissures spread, becoming larger and more intricate until the entire structure had the appearance of a department store puzzle. Soon the pieces along the ceiling began to fall away. Gravity was completely forgotten as large chucks of wood, plaster and concrete broke free and went soaring up into the sky, disappearing from sight. As the walls and ceiling went so too did the flooring near the rear section of the auditorium. Everywhere metal bolts surrendered their grip and one after another red cushioned chairs went soaring. Long sections of hard wood paneling followed until finally there was nothing left but the stage and Raven's small section of floor in front of it, floating in an endless sea of clouds.

xxxxx

When Raven was twelve, she was granted a special tool by the monks of Azarath, a mirror, specially tailored to her own particular spiritual wave length, that when gazed into would serve as a gateway into her very psyche. For years, Raven used the mirror to explore the deepest parts of herself, to delve the furthest recesses of her soul in search of truth and understanding. Initially, understanding was the only gift it offered, but over time the object's true power was revealed. With a bit of practice Raven found she was actually able to use the mirror to create order within herself, to structure her thoughts and emotions in a way that allowed her to function and coexist with the people around her. For someone such as Raven, for whom too much emotion ultimately lead to pain and destruction, this was an invaluable discovery. With the mirror's help Raven had, to the best of her ability, created a sort of order to the chaotic existence that was human emotion.

And truly there is nothing more wild and untamed in all of existence than human emotion. Raven's first encounter with her own was overwhelming to say the least. While exploring her memories she stumbled upon a sort of cosmos, a seemingly infinite black void. It was here that she found them. They were little more than swirling torrents of otherworldly energy, long streaks of colored light painting the solid black canvas in various shades of pink and purple and yellow and red. Their energy was infinite and unyielding. Like children they danced and played, swirling, spinning and spiraling, sometimes by themselves but often with each other, never staying in one place even for a moment, creating a never-ending light show the likes of which no human had ever seen. In a way it was beautiful, but in another way it was terrifying. Raven had worked hard her entire life to maintain control of her emotions, but seeing them like this she realized just how little she had accomplished. If she were to know any peace in her life, she would need to find a way to reign them in. Gathering her courage, one day she entered the void with the intent to do just that. Seeing that the pink streak was isolated from the others she raced towards it. Interestingly, the glowing streak seemed to sense her presence as she approached. It circled for a moment then like a wild animal evading a predator it fled in the opposite direction. Undaunted, Raven gave chase. Reaching for it, she grabbed hold of the being's tail, but the crafty emotion wriggled free. Chasing after it, Raven reached for it again, this time grabbing it around the middle. Like a sea serpent it contorted its body out of her grasp and went zigzagging across the void. Growling in frustration, Raven dove for it once more. With both hands she seized control. The pink streak fought desperately to escape, but this time there was no getting away. Raven clutched the struggling emotion to her chest. The pink streak glowed brighter as it continued to fight, but still she held firm. Then all at once there was a brilliant flash, and suddenly she found her hands were empty. Looking down she saw a brilliant pink light emanating from the center of her chest. Acting almost on instinct she covered it with her palm. She could feel it's warmth, and when she pulled her hand away she found the actually light went with it. An incandescent sphere about the size of a softball now rested comfortably in her palm. Transfixed, Raven studied the sphere for a moment, before summoning her nerve and gently poking it with her finger. The sphere yielded effortlessly to her touch, leaving an imprint. Taking the object in both hands she ever so slightly contracted her fingers and began to pull from either side. Like a sculptor with a piece of clay she began molding and shaping it. It was in this way that she created her first manifestation.

xxxxx

The plan from the beginning was always to keep things simple. Physically, each manifestation was made to be Raven's exact duplicate, to age with her and always appear as she was at that particular moment in time. Vanity had no place in this decision. She simply found an elegant truth in it. These were all facets of her personality; each one was in a sense _her, _so she figured they may as well look like her. It would also help give her a sense of unity with them. The only notable distinction she made when creating them came in their apparel. Each manifestation wore a color to identify them with the emotion they represented. Pink for her happiness, Grey for her timidity and so forth. Once done, she built a world for each manifestation to dwell. Nothing extravagant, simply what they needed to be content. Happy liked to play so she got a playground complete with a sandbox and jungle gym. Timidity only wanted to hide so she was granted a maze. These worlds were meant to allow each manifestation a certain freedom of movement, the idea being that they could express themselves inside so as not to intrude on her life outside. For years the technique worked to perfection.

It was shortly after Beast Boy's and Cyborg's impromptu trip through the portal, however, that things began to take a bizarre turn. The manifestation were changing, acting on their own, almost as if they were becoming individuals. They began making alterations to themselves and to their environments all without any input from Raven. Brave, the manifestation cloaked in green and who represented Raven's more brazen, more outgoing side, began to fancy herself the prototypical superhero, evolving her appearance to be taller and more physically fit. Her sleeveless leotard showed off her bulging biceps and well toned calf muscles and a completely unnecessary hole in the tummy highlighted a perfect six pack of abs. Happy, Raven's joyous fun loving side, chose to adorn the hood of her costume with big floppy bunny ears with matching slippers to boot. She was the jokester of Raven's psyche with a functioning arsenal of joy buzzers, whoopee cushions, fake vomit, a big plastic butt prosthetic, everything a hacky comedian could ask for. On and on it went like this. Each one of Raven's emotions found new ways to define themselves completely independent of Raven's influence.

Not that it was any reason to worry. They were no more beyond control then they were before and it wasn't as if they were trying to escape or take over her mind or anything similar. It did however mean Raven needed to be a bit more creative when it came to reigning them in.

And then there was Passion, Raven's more loving, more nurturing side and the part of her that got her into more trouble than any other manifestation (even her Anger).

Passion was not content to stand idly by. Passion demanded attention; she demanded freedom of expression. She wanted the whole world to know she existed.

Passion...

...was an artist.

xxxxx

The clouds faded and Raven quickly found herself on the threshold to Passion's domain, a solid oak doorway with finely polished brass handles. Floating her way up, she grabbed hold of the handles and pulled. There was a brilliant flash of light and suddenly she was inside.

While certainly grandiose, the performance in the auditorium was in reality just a mild fantasy and hardly the extent of Passion's expression. The manifestation's true residence was an art gallery, one impossibly long and luxuriously furnished hallway, generously decorated with all manner of sculptures and paintings. In the beginning the subjects of such works varied. Right by the door, along the wall hung a grand six foot wide landscape of Raven's homeworld of Azarath, a great city with giant stone spires, floating forever in a sea of clouds. Just beyond that stood a tall marble statue of Raven's teacher, the high-priestess Metrion. With her head held high and her robes caught mid flow she looked down upon Raven with tender and welcoming eyes. Another statue followed. Slightly smaller than the one of Metrion, it showed a hooded woman with a chakra similar to Raven's standing with her hands folded in front of her, her face a strange mixture of love and sadness. Next came a painting of a young black haired girl with vibrant blue eyes. The maroon colored robes she wore said she was a student at the temple of Azarath. With a warm smile she offered the viewer a single white flower.

As Raven continued to walk through the gallery, more recent works opened up to her. Pieces featuring her friends and fellow Titans became the norm. There was a rather silly looking one of Robin and Starfire with cartoon like proportions (short statured with big 'aww' inspiring eyes and cherub-like cheeks) playing leapfrog in the middle of a grassy meadow. A big impressive metal-work of Cyborg with his beloved T-car followed as well as a statue of Robin standing in the traditional hero pose with hands on hips, and an elegant water color of Starfire soaring through space.

Raven continued along her path for several minutes, observing each new piece as she went. It wasn't long, however, before a thought occurred. Strangely she saw no works of Beast Boy. There were pieces featuring Bumble Bee, Speedy, Argent, Pantha, Aqualad, Mas and Menos and yet she had not come across a single painting, sculpture or high concept exhibit starring her green skinned companion. She was puzzled by this until she heard a noise, a sort of dull 'tink tink tinking' that pulled her attention from the works before her to a section of hallway not supported by light. Looking past the darkness she glimpsed a door and moving forward she opened it. Immediately everything became clear. On all sides of her she beheld Beast Boy in every manner of artistic being. Dozens of green faces peered down and across and up at her from all corners of the room, and there in the center, standing atop a fifteen foot step ladder and chiseling away at an absolutely massive piece of marble was Passion. Her violet cloak now a violet smock, the manifestation's gaze briefly left her work to meet Raven's.

"You're just in time," she called from the top of the ladder. "I'm nearly finished. My greatest work yet." Carefully placing her chisel, she raised her hammer and gave the gigantic marble block one last delicate 'tink.' All at once the corners and edges crumbled away, disappearing into nothingness and leaving a human form in their wake. It was the most detailed and impressive work so far, and of course, much the same as the others, Beast Boy was the star. "What do you think?" asked Passion after a moment.

"Well," said Raven after giving the piece a once over. "It's big."

In truth the statue itself, while certainly a work of art, was not exactly accurate. A David-esque piece, standing tall with muscles and pecs and (literally) chisled good looks, it reeked of idealism. Beast Boy was attractive, but not a supermodel. He was fit, but this was godlike. Taking a second look around the room, Raven realized that many of the other pieces were done in much the same way, depicting Beast Boy not as he really was but as some idealized version, and all at once a realization hit. She thought she had fallen for Beast Boy, but in fact she had simply fallen for an idea of him. This hard chinned adonis with the million dollar smile and the come hither stare her Passion had created was clearly just a hodge-podge of all the different guys she'd had feelings for in her life. The good looks of Aqualad, the relate-ability of that black haired guy she met at the club that one time, and so on and so forth. He simply wore Beast Boy's face because for all his faults the green boy had always been trustworthy (Trust being something she did not give out freely). It was all so clear to her now. She wanted a guy _like_ Beast Boy, not Beast Boy himself. The plain, simple logic was refreshing and caused Raven to breath a sigh of relief.

"Okay," she began after a moment. "Let's get something clear." She snapped her fingers and in an instant Passion was standing before her. Taking the manifestation by the shoulders she turned her so that she was once again looking at the statue. "This right here...? Isn't Beast Boy." Snapping her fingers again, she materialized another massive marble block, identical to the first one, right beside it. She snapped at it with a tendril of black energy and in an instant a far more accurate depiction of the green Titan crumbled into existence, complete with long skinny arms and legs, an upturned snout of a nose and that one awkward little fang that was always sticking out his lip. "This..." declared Raven, pointing. "This is Beast Boy." Do you understand?" She waved her hand and out of nothingness a 12x5 canvas formed in her hand. A paintbrush appeared in the other, and in one quick stroke a photorealistic image took shape on the solid white material depicting Beast Boy sitting on the couch, fast asleep amid a sea of empty potato chip bags and soda cans. He had grease on his face and drool on his lip. A still on Gamestation controller rested in his hands. "_This_ is Beast Boy," she said holding up the painting. She made another stroke and a new image appeared, one of the green changeling shrieking in terror at the sight of Cyborg surprising him with a cheesy Halloween mask. "_This_ is Beast Boy..." she said again. Another stroke and this time Beast Boy was sitting on his bed using his teeth to chew off one of his toenails. Raven gagged a little at the sight of her own conjured up memory as swallowing she declared one last time with emphasis, "THIS is Beast Boy."

Raven didn't think she could have made her point any more succinct, and yet the moment she looked up from the canvas she found Passion missing. Quickly scanning the area, she saw that the manifestation was actually busy hanging the would-be-sobering portraits on the wall, still looking enamored as ever and even giggling a bit at the toenail chewing antics of the last one. She could hardly believe it. Unfortunately she had been mistaken. These feelings were far more deep-rooted than she initially imagined. They could not be talked or reasoned away, and as such she now saw that much more drastic measures would have to be taken.

**A/N:** The song Passion performs is "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner


End file.
